Simplified English

On my way home last night, I ended up walking with a co-worker from our office to the subway station. Our conversation started out in German and gradually transitioned into English. There's a certain group of co-workers that I don't ordinarily talk to who like to try out their English with me from time to time -- I think in part because I'm a native speaker, and partially because I'm a better conversationalist than the Berlitz guy that the company pays to come around a couple of times each week. (I know, because I've talked with the Berlitz guy myself. Also, the BG doesn't speak any German; how can you live in a foreign country, teach a foreign language in that country, and not speak any of the native language?? Immersion teaching may be well and good, but I think eventually it's always best to break down and talk about the finer points of the language you're teaching in the language that your pupils already understand ...)

Most of our conversation ended up centering on driving and traffic tickets, because we'd just had to dodge cars while crossing the STREET OF DOOM in front of our office (a narrow cobblestone street that's always overcrowded with drivers going much too fast for conditions), and because I'd received a parking ticket a few days ago.

After we'd reached my stop and I was by myself again, I reflected on how much I'd changed over to speaking "simplified English" here in Germany. Whenever I speak with a German, I mentally clean anything unusual out of what I'm about to say -- no contractions, no strange verb conjugations, no colloquialisms, and simpler word choices wherever I can replace more complex ones. My English speech patterns have become more like German, too. If I know a word translates directly into German or is an English-German cognate, I'll grab at it. I'll say bizarre-in-English things like "we should make a visit" instead of saying "let's visit".

(If most people engage in that level of self-editing, maybe it is better that Germans learn their English from speaking with someone who doesn't know any German after all ...)

Once in a while, I'll be talking to Shelby, and will come to a point where I can't think of the English word -- but as I stammer, I can think of the German one! Help me -- I'm losing my mother tongue!

There is a formal "Simplified English" movement, originally developed by the aerospace industry and now touted to anyone who wants to make their manuals more comprehensible to non-native speakers of English. This page has a link to a PDF full of editing guidelines and word lists that can be used to transform a written work from conventional English into Simplified English. Looking at their guidelines, I see a number of rules that I've already unconsciously developed and follow on my own. (I have to say, however, that their example of Simplified English in Action before the link to the PDF isn't too inspiring -- more a case of simple BAD WRITING that needs editing for clarification more than it needs 34 pages of guidelines ...)