Shelby's Life and Whatnot

A Rather Long Meme

What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
I don't think it was ever discussed.

What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Those good old tighty whities

What is the song you want played at your funeral?
I'm particular to Eva Cassidy's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow right now, but you know, what do I care? I'm dead! Play something you like. Actually I do have one restriction: no Amazing Grace. I loathe that song with the hatred of a thousand years.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Buffalo wings with blue cheese dipping sauce, Velveeta mac and cheese, garlic bread, and a little bit of lasagna

Beatles or Stones?
Beatles

If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
Well I'm really hoping that I have this obscenely rich relative who likes me better than anyone else and is going to bestow his/her entire fortune on me. I would want that person to die.

The person whose problems you would never want to hear again?
Cathy, from the comic strip Cathy. I hate that comic strip with a passion, and her problems are always the same. Fortunately I can avoid Cathy's problems by not reading the comic strip. Don't you wish it were like that with some people?

What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
A heartbeat.

Do you secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them?
No. I don't have room in my life for people I can't stand. It's hard enough to maintain a friendship and super-easy to just let the unpleasant ones drift off.

If you could have any super power what would it be?
Flying, definitely.

Favorite hangover cure?
Before you go to bed, take two advil and drink a lot of water. This works almost every time.

How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Depends on the type of drink.

Favorite Outkast lyric?
Okay, I'm assuming that Outkast is a musical group? I honestly don't listen to the radio or watch TV so I'm terribly culturally behind. And I actually don't care that much.

Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
Blonde, so we can have nice little Aryan children. Oh wait, Kevin's a brunette. Darn.

If you had to be blind or deaf?
Deaf. I'm a huge klutz even with my eyesight and if I were blind I'd fall down a flight of stairs or run into traffic or something the very first day. I don't think I would adjust well.

Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Who doesn't?

Siblings that should go to rehab?
Nope, my one and only sibling is awesome.

Least favorite month?
Probably January. There's the big letdown from Christmas and it's still winter and will be for a while. Nothing happens in January.

First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
Bambi, I think.

Favorite person in the whole world?
Kevin

When's the last time you went on a date?
We're married without children. Practically every day is a date! We do a good job of spending quality time together and go out to eat fairly often.

Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
Not really. I can't watch gore, especially horror (which is ironic because I have no problems reading it). Dirty movies don't do much for me.

Fall or spring?
It depends. In California it's Spring because it starts to get warm and the flowers come out. Anywhere it snows, it's Fall, because the leaves are pretty. But the real reson is because anywhere it snows, Spring is a soggy, drippy, muddy mess. Ick.

Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
This guy at a fraternity party. That was a mistake.

If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Sandra Bullock. Or Gwyneth Paltrow.

Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Some happy little retirement community someplace warm. Palm Desert is nice.

Who is the person you can count on most?
Kevin. I have never met or heard of anyone better.

If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age are not factors?
Hard to say. Maybe Sean Connery in his James Bond days, or Harrison Ford as Han Solo.

What books have you pretended you've read?
You know, it's funny, but most classics I have not read and it's not like I lie or anything but I do tend to pretend I've read them. I have two degrees in literature and managed to avoid British Literature almost entirely. In fact, on one of my grad school applications I had to list every upper division lit class I'd ever taken. I thought this would be ridiculously difficult and sat down with my transcripts to decode the abbreviations (Intro Gr. Ro. Lit--uhhhh, oh yeah, Greek and Roman literature). Sadly I realized I had taken shockingly few literature classes. Particularly in grad school. The degree requirements were so strange I took this very eclectic mix of classes. Anyway, as a result I have avoided many of the famous classic books, like War and Peace or Grapes of Wrath. A few are on my list to read now, but most, I could care less about.

What's a word you would use to describe your life?
Exciting

Favorite drinking game?
F*** Your Buddy. It's a very simple card game and is fun to play even if you're not drinking. In college Three Man (a dice game) was my favorite.

What did you dream last night?
I dreamt I was visiting an island of retired famous people. The guy giving me a tour said "Spiderman lives here. Captain America. And Satan."

Favorite bands?
Mostly I like singers instead of bands. Indigo Girls, Dar Williams, Catie Curtis, Deb Talan are all on my hit list right now.