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Scout's Page All Over Again


Okay, so it's been like FOREVER since I updated my page. I apologize to my loyal followers. I'm a busy dog and it's difficult to fit everything into my social calendar. Plus it's very difficult to type with paws.

I am now a regular daycare dog at Downtown Dogs. I hang out there every Monday, so you can catch a glimpse of me on their doggie cam. There are lots of big dogs there so sometimes it's hard to spot me, but I usually wander by the camera every once in a while for the sake of my adoring fans.

My big news this month is that I graduated from Dog Training class! Mom, Dad, and I have been working hard the last two months and enjoying our Thursday evening class. There were 6 dogs in my class, including me:

  • Linda--An enthusiastic Cocker Spaniel who had strangely bloodshot eyes.
  • Cracker Jack--A wire hair Jack Russell Terrier, called "Jack" by his owners. Jack weighs about 6 pounds and has the most amazing jumping ability I've ever seen. I swear this dog could clear 7 feet, easy. He may have a career in basketball.
  • Ramper--Part coyote, part Tasmanian Devil, Ramper was the baby of the group. He just wanted to play, play, play. And bark. And play. And also, play.
  • Bailey--A German Shepherd mix, Bailey was huge. One day he walked over me and I never even touched his stomach. He loved to wrestle with Ramper.
  • Poco--Part Papillon, part something else, Poco was the most timid, fearful dog I've ever seen. He would bare his teeth at all of the rest of us and try to climb on his owner's lap. Then, about 3 weeks ago, Poco was replaced by another dog who actually ventured out, sniffed around, and didn't shy away from other dogs. I think the real Poco was probably abducted by aliens, which probably fulfilled his greatest fear.
  • Scout--100% Beagle, I was the oldest dog there. Mom says she can't believe I was the most mellow dog there too. Finally, I get some credit!
Mom and I go up to get my certificate and rawhide "diploma" from Stacy, our dog trainer. Me in my academic regalia. Jack, another enthusiatic graduate.

I learned many things in Dog Training, like "Ignore Humans" "Wander Off" "You Keep Saying That Word, Scout, Like It Means Something" and "Get Dragged On The Leash." I'm not sure what the exact commands for those are, but they were definitely my best tricks. The lessons took place in the back room of a pet food store--talk about temptation! We would have Puppy Playtime every day where we got to be off-leash and play with each other, but who wants to wrestle with big dogs when there's all those bags of dog food to be had?! Occasionally I'd come across an open bag or find some spilled on the floor. Those were the good days.

But I have to say that I object to the term "Dog Training." I don't need training to be a dog! I've been doing this all my life! What I'd like to see is a "Human Training" class. Here are some of the commands I would cover:

  • Fill The Food Bowl--This should be done several times a day. Mom and Dad are so stingy with the food. They carefully measure out such a small amount of kibble. Don't they know that's not enough to sustain an active beagle such as myself?
  • Pet Me Now--I've pretty much got Mom and Dad trained on this one but it's always good to reinforce the commands.
  • Walk--As in "Let's Take One!"
  • Don't Bother Me, I'm Sniffing--This one is self-explanatory.
  • You're Hogging The Bed, Move Over--I'm also pretty good at enforcing this one.
  • Drop That Steak On The Floor For Me--This is a top priority and one I'm working hard on.

If you can think of any other commands I should add to my list, send me an email! Until then, dream of a leash-free world!

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This page last revised Friday, August 31, 2001
Shelby <> and Kevin <>